The Diaper Genie Knows.
Oh holy god. I mean, I've dealt with poop. I've been walking dogs for 20 years. I've lived with my dad and my brother and myself. I've marveled at the weird lady poops that somehow make the bathroom smell better. I've marveled at the weird lady poops that peel the f-ckin' paint. But I have never, ever, EVER, dealt with anything like what I just dealt with. It was like a butterscotch colored diaper genocide. Only it didn't stay in the diaper. It went f-ckin' EVERYWHERE. That towel on the changing table will never recover. Good thing the landlords in NYC have to repaint the walls. I have no idea how I got poop on the back of my hand, but damned if I didn't. Ditto both of his heels. Right now, there is a diaper genie in an apartment in New York that is being forced to deal with horrors. HORRORS.