Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Who Knows What Evil Lurks in the Butts of Men?

The Diaper Genie Knows.

Oh holy god. I mean, I've dealt with poop. I've been walking dogs for 20 years. I've lived with my dad and my brother and myself. I've marveled at the weird lady poops that somehow make the bathroom smell better. I've marveled at the weird lady poops that peel the f-ckin' paint. But I have never, ever, EVER, dealt with anything like what I just dealt with. It was like a butterscotch colored diaper genocide. Only it didn't stay in the diaper. It went f-ckin' EVERYWHERE. That towel on the changing table will never recover. Good thing the landlords in NYC have to repaint the walls. I have no idea how I got poop on the back of my hand, but damned if I didn't. Ditto both of his heels. Right now, there is a diaper genie in an apartment in New York that is being forced to deal with horrors. HORRORS.

1 comment:

  1. So it goes. Sometimes the mess is so bad that your only option is to take the screaming infant to the tub and hose them off. Sometimes you have to get hosed off too. How does so much poop come out of such a tiny butt? It's an amazing mystery.

    And on a related note, today I had to make a rule that Ramona is not allowed to have any more gum until she's able to chew it without swallowing, and potty trained. Because cloth diapers + undigested gum = very bad things. But if this is the worst that happens today, we are all cool.