No, Seriously, Dad: Keep Your Shirt On

Ladies and gentlemen, I write to you today as one who has seen the mountain top. Lo, many a man has searched from the heights of that Babylonian Tower to the depths of his very soul in search of the truth. Today, I come to you as one who has found that truth, that "God Particle" of wisdom:

Fathers who take shirtless pictures with their children are douche bags.

Behold, dad, you don't look like a loving father. You look like a pederast. Put your f-ing shirt back the eff on.

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