Thursday, March 31, 2011

Why you have failed us, gentle reader.

Have you seen this? Yeah. Isaac knows them. No, for real. They're his friends.  Not as cute as my kid, of course. And they got 7 million views, appearances on CNN and CBS. Me? I got to go work in the South Bronx this morning. I had a Boston Creme donut.

Who's fault is this? Yours, gentle reader. Yes you. All 50 of you. It's your fault for not being roughly 140,000 times more people than you are. Look. I'm tired of not being recognized for how unquestionably great I am. It's not right, and you know it's not right. So get on that. Breed. Multiply. Make babies, and make them read this blog and buy merchandise licensed through us.

Believe me, I can show you how, if you know what I mean.