The Insanity Snap and a Photo Load

Our friends Dan and Katie were over yesterday, and Katie (a nanny) was talking about how impossibly frustrating it is to drive a car through NYC traffic with an infant howling hysterically in the backseat. At one point, it overwhelmed her so much that she basically went nuts. "There was nothing I could do. So I just started laughing."

Sometime a couple of weeks ago, Isaac was perfecting his banshee wail, the one that says "I'm so hungry, and have made myself so miserable, that before I will eat, you must calm me down to the point where I look like I'm one of those pictures of a person staring in abject horror at some great calamity." And he kept going. And going. And....going...

And that's when I had the "insanity snap." I just started laughing in his face. Not because I wanted to. Not because I am by nature a cruel human being. I had just hit my breaking point. And I laughed at my screaming child.

Thinking about it now, after that day, Isaac's ghastly shrieking doesn't get to me the same way. Sure, I want to fix the problem, and I still much prefer to have happy Ike to sad Ike. But I don't stress as much when Ike is upset, and that is key to my general well being. I know that parenting makes one "crazy." But apparently, this particular craziness is an on-the-fly adjustment, an adaptation ensuring the survival of the species.

The rest of what you're here for:

Things Isaac Likes

Now that he's able to be awake without screaming in violent protest at the impossibly large circus act that is life, Isaac has developed some of his first tastes.
1) Swaddle-Me blankets
There's a process to swaddling in a blanket. Shannon has figured it out. I have not. This means that he spends an extra 5 minutes crying while daddy fumbles blindly with a strip of cloth, all the while having terrible flashbacks to his first disastrous attempts at unhooking a bra. This particular blanket makes this process simple. Fit the Hurricane into a sack, velcro it tight, and bam! Swaddled baby. He likes it. I like it. God likes it.
2) Mommy-bottles over plastic bottles.
He likes 'em real. So there you go. I'm raising a son who appreciates a woman's natural beauty.
3) "Thunder Road" by Bruce Springsteen.
OK, he's only ever heard it performed a cappella by me, but still, of the respective repertoires of mom and dad, this song is most effective at calming him down and making him happy. So clearly he has great taste...
4) Grandma
After the clumsy, inexperienced care he gets from his parents, Grandma Sullivan's deft hands must be like falling into the arms of an angel in a cloud of pillows hovering above a sea of gentle smiles.

Isaac Goes Home:

Things learned today:

1)Babies are gross.

Every time Isaac poops, which is approximately 2,344 times an hour, there is a disinct wet-fart sound, followed by a brief look of confusion (on both baby and daddy), and finally hysterical crying (from both baby and daddy). Opening the diaper reveals a treasure chest of curdled milk chunks and chocolate pudding. Apparently baby-guts are run by the manufacturers of Blue Cheese and Jello. This is science.

2)Vibration is the key
We bought one of the Fisher Price vibrating baby seats, the primary-colored kind that comes with some cutsey name like "Happy Meadows" or "Bouncy Happy" or some such bulls#!t. It is a primary-colored monstrosity, which I imagine to be designed to simulate the seats on a space shuttle, right down to the intensive strapping in process. Whatever. You click a button, and the chair gently hums. With Isaac, this buys you anywhere from 3-10 minutes of calm baby. This is enough time to deal with trivial matters such as all of your paper work, phone calls from well-wishers, and your own bowels.

3)There are never enough towels.

Poop. Milk. Spit-up. Vaseline. Wet Hands. Spills. All of these things need wiping up. Yesterday I found myself holding a screaming infant, searching for a burp cloth with the same panic that the Von Trapp family must have felt as they gathered the last key items before fleeing the Nazis. Fortunately, I found a bib in just enough time to save the couch for at least another 2 hours. This is a victory.

4)3 hours of uniterrupted sleep is great
Isaac slept in complete peace from 230am to 530am. He was fussy for about 4 minutes before getting up completely. In that time, I got coffee started, a bottle ready, and a bib in-hand (see 3 above) in preparation. I'm fu@#ing great at this.