Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Hours of 11am-3pm Can Eat My Backside.


Here's a rundown of the last 4 hours, and I swear to all things holy that I am not making this up:

11:05am - Isaac breastfeeds.
11:55 - Isaac is "done." (Note: 50 goddamn minutes is a long time with a boob. And I know this from experience.)
12pm - Diaper Explosion 1: the Wetness
12:20 - back on the boob. This time the left one.
12:40 - done with the boob.
12:45 - The hiccups begin, along with the screaming.
12:52 - After 7 minutes of "HIC-HOWL-HIC," we go for the "football hold," which we learned from the nursery nurses. This works until we try to lay him down at
12:58 - The screaming, oh god the screaming.
1:15 - I don't think I have a face anymore.
1:25 - The screaming is done.
1:27 - No, actually it's not.
1:31 - Shannon goes solo in the bedroom.
1:35 - It stops.
1:50 - It's Back.
1:55 - Once again, the little man is mining for white gold in them there mommy hills.
2:10 - Pause to pee.
2:15 - Diaper Explosion: First Pee: Part Two.
2:17 - The screaming begins anew.
2:30 - Back on the boob. I literally have to feed Shannon's cereal to her, as she herself is shaking from hunger. You're killing your poor mother, boy.
3:15 - After alternating between boob and sleep, Isaac appears to be ready to sleep, straight up. He's super cute at this point. If the battery on the camera wasn't dead, I'd give proof.

This is a repeat performance of yesterday. Essentially, with about 30 minutes of relative peace thrown in, Isaac has been either painfully sucking boob or screaming hysterically for the last 4 hours. Since this is a repeat performance of yesterday, I can only assume that these are his "peak" hours. Yay!

2 comments:

  1. hilarious. and also a reminder as to why i am not having a baby rite now. but he's cute! yay for y'all! and for me for not having to deal with this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ahh, yes, first days home.

    ReplyDelete